Fat Pants

I did something kindof big last night. Well, big in my world. To start at the begining I decided that when I lost weight all the clothes I have now would be thrown out. If I was tinner they would not fit and there would be no reason to keep them around. Also if I got rid of them them it would not be an option to gain my weight back. If I gained 5lbs I could'nt just put on a bigger size because it would not be there. I would have to evaluate where I slipped up and get back on track so my clothes fit again. For the last 12 years I have been collecting clothes of various sizes. Some of these clothes I fit in now and did not 2 months ago but some of these clothes I have yet to fit into. All of my clothes are a bigger size than what I want to end up in so eventually everything must go. The other day I threw on a pair of pants that I was wearing a couple months ago I never really liked them but they worked. Well, they were big (WAHOO!) I thought they looked sloppy and was really annoyed about them the entire time I had them on. So doing laundry the other day I pulled them out of the basket folded them up but just could'nt put them away. I sat them aside and for 2 days they sat out. As a joke I have been saying that when I lost weight I was going to make a fat pants quilt and all my jeans that no longer fit I would cut them up and make them into a blanket. Last night I started it, I took those pants and cut them up. I do not have the option to ever wear them again. I did not think that it would be such a big deal but it has been a really emotional step for me. Sort of a theres no turning back, and I have to take charge kindof thing. Its scary but motivating at the same time.
Loosing weight is easy, just eat healthy and exercise. Basically if you have a trainer, a nutritionist, a chef, and a guaranteed hour and a half of uninterrupted time to yourself everyday this is no problem. For those of us who dont live in Hollywood its not so easy. Life sometimes gets in the way. Everybody has there own struggles and their own changes they need to make in there lives. If its weight loss or something completely different anyone who has tried to make a big change knows that there are ups and downs, easy times and hard times. My last few weeks fall under hard times, nothing serious happened so no need to worry. With alot of circumstances I have slacked off a bit. I have not done anything drastic to screw up what I have done so far I just have not been able to work out and eat as well as I would of liked to. So by cutting up my pants I have made a declaration to my self and to all of you who read this to not go back to where I was but to keep trying to progress. Some days everything will just work out and some days I will just have to do what I can. I know that weight loss is a process and some weeks I may lose and some I may not but I just have to keep working and not get so discouraged when I dont. As long as I am to my goal weight by my birthday I will be fine. Just teasing but would'nt that be cool. So sorry friends for the novel I have had alot on my mind. Thanks everyone for your love, support, and encouragement. For those of you who are in this with me we have 1 more month in the contest. Good luck and hopefully for all of us one day this will no longer be something we struggle with. We will all be our desired size and curled up snug in a fat-pants quilt. For those of you who have those pants your hanging on to, cut them up its seems silly but its an unexpected liberating feeling. Now go take on the day! :)